jo bekke at hugwrts COMMENTARY!
by 4u2findout
Summary: Join me as we dive into the horror that is 'jo bekke at HUgwRts! I might be a little late on the ball but I figure, better late than never! PLEASE R&R, rated M for RACISM on the part of jo bel.


_Okay, hi! This is my first attempt at a commentary, but I will do my best! We are going to dive into the horror that is 'jO bekke at HUgwRts' (quoted from the author. Already my brain cells are dying!) Please R&amp;R it makes me very happy! Alright! *braces self and wrings out hands* I'm ready… leats do dis!_

_By the way, I am in bold and jo bel (bekke, belke, belle) is in normal script._

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Chapter 1

AN Dis iiz mi stury. **(What's a stury?) **MI friend edited it 4 me. **(…Right, 'edited') **You're the best, Darry!

BOOK 1: JO BELLE **(Belle? I thought it was 'bekke') **POTTER AND THE SORCERURS STON

Chapter 1: Dumbledore **(You already stated that it was chapter 1. Also, if any of you dear readers will care to note, as far as I know, this is one of two times jo bel spells 'Dumbledore' correctly.)**

Mi nam is Jo bele **(Again with the name change!) **Susie lilee Puttr **(Like a golfer?)**. I waz drupped uff at mi uncl and ants hose **(Never knew ants owned houses…oh wait never mind it's a 'hose' not a 'house'. Wait, doesn't water drown bugs?). **wen I waz 3 da dark lurd volddenut **(Hehe) **killd mi parents. I used to hav a bruthr but he lives in engglnd **(So people no longer exist if they live in England huh? Interesting…Oh wait there I go assuming things again! It's 'engglnd' not 'England'! Never mind!) **Now mi ant in uncl in sutth carulia **(Where's that?) **razed me. **(I wish. If they had 'razed' you as you so put it, you wouldn't exist. Or at least, you wouldn't be writing this monster of a fic right now)** Dey r abusive. Dey rap and hurt me. **(They rap while they hurt you? Wait…LOOOOL. Just imagining something…**_**'Now I pull out the whip and chain, I'll hit you with it and cause you some pain!' XD) **_

I hav durty blond hair, that hangs down to mi feet. **(Rapunzel, Rapunzel!) **i hav dimond blu ies dat sparkl. **(I am literally having to fight with spellcheck right now) **Sometimes my eis are green or yellow. OI am super hot!111111111

1 dae I waz wlkin doewn da street nd I cm hom der was a ledder on da doorstep. I gsped!1111111111111 **(I actually had to count the number of '1's' she put in there. No easy task I can assure you!) **it sad hugwurts skill od wickraaf nd wizrdy. I tried to get it but sdunely… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. .. ..**(SO MUCH SUSPENSE I CAN'T TAKE IT! Also, why are they grouped in threes, it would be easier to just go ….. ya know?)**

A knif cam me!111111111111 **(Suspense…for this?!) **Im fast thouh, so I caut it nd thru it bak at mi dum uncl. **(While exhibiting just one of many traits of a Mary-Sue) **

it hit him in the crocht and he did. **(Did what? If you meant 'died' you forgot the 'e' there. And besides, can someone die from a 'crocht' wound? Where is that in the body does anyone know? Unless you mean he did crochet…or he died from crochet…*Mumbles about possible meanings*) **den antie Beatrice cam up. "U klld mi usband u freek!111111111111111111111"

Hes nut ded.' I told hur. Den I wavd mi hnd n he cam bak to lif! **(Idiot, now two people will be trying to kill you!) **"Jpo bel!" he screemd. **(See I told you. Oh wait, he's going for 'jpo bel' not 'jo bel'. My bad)**

Mi ant thru me acruss the rume. \ I hit da wull nd nearly pasd out! **(But of course, she doesn't, because she's the unstoppable knife-catching, life-restoring Mary-sue)**

"wuts dat letr u hav, ' jo bel?" ant betric askd. **(Wait, whoa whoa whoa. Hold up a minute. You mean to tell me that this wasn't about the letter in the beginning? And if it wasn't, that means you're saying that her 'uncl' and 'ant' haven't noticed it this whole time, and SHE HELD ONTO IT THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE THING!)**

"NOOO" Uncl sd.

"I hut wed stupped it!" ant betrik sad. **(How do you get this out of 'I thought we'd stopped it!" if that's even what this is supposed to be…Also, why is ant betrik sad? Did jo bel step on her?)**

"den uncl grvaed be nd thruuu me acrss da rume. DEN DA DUR FLU OPEN!111111111.. … .. .. .. . . .. .**(WTF?!)**

An old man was der. He had a long blak beerd. He spoke in an awsum suthurn bretesh axnt. **(Is there a difference between North British accents and South British accents?) **"I am Pruffsr ALbis Peeter Quintin alexndr Dumbldur!11111111" he crid. **(The slightly lesser known, racist, badass cousin of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!)**

A flash uv litenin was seen oteside da durr. It lukeed lik mi scar. I hav a scar ov a litenn bult on mi 4hd.** (Ya know, that would be nice up there with the impossible, Mary-sue-mixed-with-rapunzel description)**

Dumbldur sd. "Cum **(Hehe) **w/ me jo bel I hav ur bruthur."!1 **(What is that random exclamation and 1 doing there?)**

2 B CNTUUD! **(oh god no!)**

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_Alright, I guess that's a wrap you guys! I hope you like it as a start to my first story! PLEASE R&amp;R IT MAKES MY DAY!_


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